Intermediate Grammar #clarity #technical-writing #documentation

Sentence Clarity & Conciseness

5 exercises — cutting wordiness, parallel structure in lists, relative clauses, ambiguous pronouns, and clear ticket writing. Every sentence should earn its place.

4 rules for clear technical writing
  • Cut the filler — "in the event that" → "if" · "is able to" → "can"
  • Use parallel structure — match all list items to the same grammatical form
  • Name it, don't pronoun it — if "it" could mean two things, use the noun
  • Specific over vague — "iOS Safari 17" not "some devices", "Monday" not "soon"
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Which rewrite of this sentence is the most concise and clear for technical documentation?

Original: "In the event that the user is not able to successfully authenticate themselves with the system, an error message will be shown to them on the screen."